it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
