so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
only if we run a train.
done.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
