i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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