Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
