u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
