How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
