i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
third nipple confirmed
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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