i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
