you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
