No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
