If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
