i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
handjob tips. give me some.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
