So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
there's paper in my vomit.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She told me I should be a condom model.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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