Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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