Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
