i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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