I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
