Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
