Is it because I queefed?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize