it was like his penis was on wheels.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
