so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
