I want to have your abortion
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
