I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize