Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
