I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
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