Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize