that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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