I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
