this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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