3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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