The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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