this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
