He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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