I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
