im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize