Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
