Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize