Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
