Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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