His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
