Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
