I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
