I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
