My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
