its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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