So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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