So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
