fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Be still, my beating vagina.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
