okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
