Can Purell be used as lube?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
