I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize
