does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
