At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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