so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize