I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
