there was a trapeze. enough said
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
