I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize