I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Let's paint friendship bongs
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
