East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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