party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
In America we eat man semen.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
