He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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