I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
