we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
