i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
only you would photoshop your dick
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
