I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
