I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
