I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
