Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
