I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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