Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The Olympian is in my bed
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
